Half of my energy wasted on random knowledge!!!”Ħ4. “Pin this potato in every board for no reason”Ħ3.
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“An apple a day will keep anyone away, if thrown hard enough”Ħ2. You were boring me to death and my survival instincts kicked in.”Ħ1. “The biggest lie I tell myself is “I don’t need to write that down, I’ll remember it.””Ħ0. “That awkward moment when you take a shower in the middle of the day and you’re not sure if you should put on normal clothes or pyjamas.”ĥ9. Who the fuck runs 5 miles in 30 seconds?”ĥ8. “During sex you burn as much calories as running for 5 miles. “Some people are just like trees… They take forever to grow up!”ĥ7. “Real girls are never perfect and perfect girls are never real.”ĥ6. “My dream job would be the karma delivery service.”Ģ6. Perfect for sharing your best friends and family. Our collection of short funny quotes which are short, straight to your head and mind-blowing.Ģ5. Join the fun with our Funny Quote of the Day on the web, Facebook and blogs. Easy to read the list of the most hilarious phrases ever spoken. Share the best funny quotes collection by famous authors and comedians.
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“If your significant other is mad at you put a cape on them and say ‘Now you’re super mad!’ if they laugh marry them.” “I wanted to go jogging but proverbs 28:1 says “The wicked run when no one is chasing them” so there’s that.”Ģ4. “My scars tell a story… They are reminders of when life tried to break me, but failed.”Ģ3. “Camping: Where you spend a small fortune to live like a homeless person.”Ģ0. “The biggest lie I tell myself is “I don’t need to write that down, I’ll remember it.””ġ9.